Dear college,
I've only known you for 3 days, but so far our experience has been mediocre.
I'm sorry I got some random disease and have been on drugs since. I know it affects our relationship, but don't worry. I've got a plan.
I think I'll do the massive amounts of french 321 homework you've so graciously given me, read some articles you suggested about tortured monkeys, and polish it off with the Illiad.
Then I'll take some more drugs, head off to bed in the wee hours of the morn, and see you bright and early for an exam.
I think this relationship is going to work out just dandy.
Love,
Kari
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