...Once upon a time...
I hate getting gifts.
Seriously. No joke. I hate it.
It's not like I'm against the whole "Christmas spirit of giving" thing because I believe that it is a wonderful part of Christmas. I just don't like being on the receiving end. I already have friends, family, love, education, and material wants like my car and clothes. There is nothing else that I really need.
I'm happy with what I have.
This is how every Christmas goes.
I mean heck, I asked for a teapot, some headphones, and salt and pepper shakers... for Christmas.
"No, seriously what do you want?" - The parents
um... Literally, I would be FINE getting those 3 gifts in total. HONEST.
Don't mistake me as a "holier than thou" doo gooder wishing my gifts away to others so that I can feel better about myself. That's not it all. No doubt sub for santas or soup kitchen volunteering would make me happier than gift receiving, but that's just the type of person I am. I can't help that.
But it is more than that.
It's that I feel WRONG getting gifts. Not that I don't deserve them because I think I'm a despicable human being or something like that. I like myself. I just think others deserve the gifts more.
Most people would jump for joy to open a gift, spy inside, and see a brand new guitar or perhaps a new snowboard with a giant bow. But me? No. I open a box, look inside and go... hm. That's $900 that could have provided Christmas for another family but it'll just end up in the garage collecting dust.
The worst part of this all? Wearing my emotions on my sleeve. When I open a gift, I try REALLY hard to make it look like I'm SOO excited to get it. But then my mom will go "You don't like it do you?" and my response usually ends up being similar to the collecting dust statement.
sigh.
I wish for Christmas instead of trying to buy me things people would give me their time. Or do things with me. Do you realize how much longer a memory lasts than a physical gift? Going to temple square with a group of friends to have a blast for FREE is worth soo much more to me than some new ipod that will be out of date and forgotten by next year anyway.
Can't we all do a little better this Christmas?
Can't we all put the love back into the spirit of Christmas?
:) that was beautiful, kari!
ReplyDeleteand speaking of temple square... (i promise i'm not trying to be an idiot right after reading your blog post, but it really did remind me)...we (megan, maddie, and i) were thinking sometime in december we'd get a group of friends together and go to temple square with some hot chocolate, and then come back to our apartment and watch a cheesy christmas movie!
we're thinking about doing it for like a "yay finals are over, and so is an entire semester of college" treat. i'll let you know a later date.
but seriously, that post was beautifully put!
Aww thank you so much :D
ReplyDeleteSounds like a grand idea and I'd love to join in :D I'm done with finals the 16th and the night of the 17th (Saturday) I have a potential date? soo anytime after that works for me.